So, you didn’t make it to Goodwill in time and all the over-the-top sweaters were picked over. Your grandma loves her sweaters too much to let you borrow them for the office Christmas party. What to do? We’ve developed a guide for creating the perfect so-ugly-it’s-awesome Christmas sweater—a finely tuned collection of kitsch and hot glue. Start with a sweater you don’t mind covering with stuff, and have at it.
Fringe is in, so add cuffs to your sleeves and waist. Stay away from the neckline unless itchy sweaters are your thing. Really stand out from the crowd with mix-and-match colors.
Draw all the designs you want and sprinkle the glitter on while the paint is still wet. Go crazy with it! If people aren’t following the trail of sparkles wondering where the Sugar Plum Fairy is, then you haven’t used enough.
Dreaming of a white Christmas? You’ll have it covered when you plaster yourself with a bag of cotton balls. For a fun party activity, carry around some extras and start a snowball fight.
Elf? Check. Ornaments? Check. Snowflakes? Check. Tree, gifts, santas—whatever. Iron or sew on appliqués and get creative with placement. Go for the classic large reindeer icon in the center, or maybe get a little daring with all-over patchwork. The only limit is the amount of appliqués they have in stock at the craft store.
Wear a necklace of lights or get extra ugly points by poking the bulbs through the sweater from the inside, becoming a lightbulb cactus. Battery-powered is the best option unless you plan on being plugged into an outlet all night. For ultimate effect, get the lights that blink in crazy patterns and see if you can get them to spell out “MERRY CHRISTMAS” in Morse code.